“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process, is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” Brene Brown

Years ago I was on a walk date with a guy I’d met at yoga (so cliche) and as we started up a hill amongst some trees and got a little deeper into the conversation – beyond how pretty the park was and how nice the weather had been, he asked me what I look for in a partner.

Bang. There it was.

That question that I hadn’t figured out. I partially froze, feeling a bit stupid that I didn’t know the answer. How does anyone really know the answer to it anyway? I’d played around with ‘asking the universe’ for what I wanted, and then when I got it, I was disappointed or it didn’t turn out quite the way I thought it would. So after telling him the honest truth, “I don’t know.” I asked him the same question. And his answer hit me right in the heart (and made me crush on him even more)…

“I just want someone who loves themselves.”

Beyond looks and buff bodies, beyond killer jobs and salaries, even beyond the kindest heart and most generous of spirits, a person who loves themselves is perhaps the greatest treasure. 

The date turned out sweetly. And there were a few after. But nothing transpired except a remembering of how inspiring that conversation was and how it will always stay with me. And for some reason this week, as I pour my attention to what’s really important, I thought to share that conversation with you.

For me, loving myself is a long road. Eating disorders have kept me from loving myself fully. Not thinking I’m good enough has kept me from my true brilliance and still does. But I’m going to keep looking at the things that keep me from love; from me and from others. And I’m going to keep doing the things that keep me close to love like being of service, helping young women and girls who have struggled from similar things that I have, showing myself compassion and doing the right thing.

The goal is that when I’m on my death bed, I can look at myself square in the eyes and say, “I bloody love you. Every part of you.” And I want to really it. Own it. Know it.

As morbid as it sounds – it doesn’t have to be. It can instead be inspiring and motivating – what do you want out of love and what do you want to feel on your death bed?