How are your Relationships?

I’m starting to really feel like our greatest teachers are the people around us – not the ones we idolise from afar. 

I’m starting to see that I’ll never have the kind of connection that I crave with those closest to me if I don’t create a close connection with myself.

I hear messages. Daily (and sometimes hourly at the moment) that we’re all just one big energetic soup dished out in mugs of different shapes, colours and sizes. The flavour that I add to my own individual soup effects the taste of yours for sure.

SO, yogi.

How’s your relationships? With those you’re closest to and with those you don’t consider close but are in your weekly schedule? But most importantly how’s your relationship to YOU.

There’s one particular relationship in my very close peripheral at the moment. And it’s been a doozy. It went from up close, totally besotted and intense (ps this is not my lover for anyone that’s wondering and I’m going to keep it’s identity a complete mystery for many reasons) to a slippery but fully felt demise to one of total uncertainty. Some days I get what feels like love and others I get total disregard – not even a gesture.

It’s seen me perfect my perfectionism to the point of OCD, it’s made me ‘right’ and them ‘wrong’ countless times and it’s been all consuming.Triggers upon triggers and triggers.

And I’ve allowed it to do an absolute number on me mentally, physically and energetically to the point where a number of times I can feel my heart closed so tightly in their presence that I can hardly breathe.

And being the spiritual being that I am (that we all are) and because not doing ‘the work’ at times like this actually hurts more than the pain and fear of doing it, I’ve dug deep. I’ve called on my spiritual A-Team, closest friends I trust and closed my eyes many times to meditate on it.

I haven’t figured it out yet (the whole silver lining). But I’m getting closer to something that feels like freedom. I’ve gotten this far (which is far):

Our greatest teachers are those that are in front of us every single day. 

When we feel triggered by someone, in comparison with others; when we feel more than or less than; when we revert back to our ten year old selves again or find ourselves falling into small self (that one that believes the dirty lie that we’re separate from other)…these moments are our greatest opportunities for enlightenment.

Our teachers are our kids, our parents and our siblings. They’re also in our baristas and bar tenders who take far too long to make our concoction of choice. They’re in the stranger that cuts us off in traffic and the ones that pick up your chai tab because you have your hands full with a baby and bag. Teachers are every–where.

This is an excerpt from my book, Life in Flow, that I wrote last year (released in March this year). Never have these words rung so true for me:

“Connection.

It’s why we’re here.

It’s what warms the heart.

It’s the foundation of family, loyalty and togetherness.

It challenges you and makes you a better human.

It’s what scares you, lights you up and totally pushes you down.

Real connection. Deep down, authentic spirit to spirit connection is what teaches us that there is no separation between you and I. That we’re all made up of the same stuff. We all hurt, we all love and we all go through things.

Connection has the capacity to blow your heart wide open and fear of connection can close your heart right down.

To allow yourself to really connect, to truly be seen and to see others…now that’s the kind of connection I want to experience. Often.”

So in softening this relationship I speak of. This is my action plan:

Soften.

I practice creating a sense of ease in the heart when this person is near, know that they feel just as I do and that the most evolved thing that I will do right now is practice compassion toward myself and compassion for this person and others.

Will you practice with me?

p.s. if you want to grab a signed copy of my book, click right here  x x x